I’m reeling tonight. Foreign feelings of anger, disgust, agony, frustration – having bizarre visions of holding a gun to a man’s head.
I just found out that a friend I love very much is being beaten by someone in my family. He is beating her beautiful body with his fists, methodically placing the blows in places where they won’t be visible to anyone; railing on her legs, hips, thighs, ribs, stomach. He is champion-boxer strong and she is frail, tiny, fragile.
The cunning calculation of how he places his hits is the making of nightmares for me, it unveils that this is not a simple loss of self control.
Oh god friends, what do I do?
A domestic violence victim won’t help herself. She won’t walk away, convinced he loves her and feeling helpless.
This lovely, gentle woman. How do I help? What do I do? Can we hate someone of our own blood? Maybe it’s not hate, but sorrow and frustration.
I am so concerned that I will have to sit on my hands, because there really isn’t anything I can do. Has anyone ever been in this situation before? How do you make a difference? What if she suffers irreparable harm or he even kills her? Am I being over dramatic? It doesn’t feel that way…
It’s even worse that this is a family member doing this to someone. A prayer, if you will, for the health and survival of this girl that I love. That she may have the strength and support to find a way out.
With much love for your ears and heart tonight,
M
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Love her. Love her unconditionally and in every moment. And if and when there is an opening, be the voice she cannot be for herself. My heart hurts with yours, and you have another person here who is sending love, prayers and healing energy your way and hers.
Let her know that you are there for her 24/7. That when she is strong enough to walk out that door, you’ll be there to help her in every way. Let her know that there are options. That there is such a thing as safety, care, and peace.
Thank you both so much – my heart is just aching with this feeling that I can’t do anything. If you only knew how lovely and kind this woman was, you would know how painful this is.
You advice is really helpful. I guess just infusing her life with as much love as possible could potentially make a difference.
Thank you and thank you again,
M
She needs protection. Even if it feels that it’s not your business, it is now. I had a similar family situation that I didn’t know about until it was too late. Remind her of options, find her options, find her help. She probably won’t want it, but you need to be strong for her. She is lucky to have someone as wonderful as you care about her and I KNOW you will do whatever it takes.